What Are Some Common Signs of Infidelity?

No one wants to believe that their spouse is unfaithful. Unfortunately, cheating is a common cause of divorce, and we frequently encounter couples who choose to dissolve their marriage over infidelity. If you’re contemplating a California divorce, you may be wondering if your spouse is unfaithful. Here are some of the most common signs of infidelity:

Changes in Phone or Electronic Device Behavior

One of the first telltale signs of cheating is changes in behavior regarding mobile device use. It might be second nature to grab your spouse’s phone and hand it over when it starts to ring – but if your spouse starts to get defensive about it, that’s a red flag. Your spouse might even try to turn the situation around on you, accusing you of being paranoid. Other red flags include spending more time on the phone than in the past, leaving their phone in their car overnight, or even being overly transparent about texts and phone calls. In this scenario, your spouse might be going to the other extreme to throw you off the scent.

Changes in Credit Card Behavior

In our years in the business, we’ve learned that cheaters can be incredibly dense when it comes to covering their trail. You wouldn’t think that your unfaithful spouse would charge flowers, hotels, or dinners to your shared account, but it happens more often than you might think. Keep an eye out for charges that aren’t work related, and carefully gauge a response when you confront your spouse about it. A common warning sign is refusing to show you the credit card statements altogether, or having a new credit card they never told you about.


One common thread we see in cheaters is that they try to take the focus off themselves and put it on you, the non-cheating spouse. Common manipulative tactics include:

  • Accusations of jealousy or paranoia. A cheater might say that you’re just imagining things or that you’re letting your emotions get away from you. They might try to put you down until you start to believe them. But if you have suspicions of cheating, they’re probably valid.
  • Instigating fights. An unfaithful spouse might try to inspire guilt by being overly critical or picking fights over nothing. They might try to manipulate you into thinking you’ve done something wrong, even when you haven’t.
  • Refusing to give direct answers to simple questions. Finally, your spouse might refuse to answer questions directly, such as why they’re spending more time away from home. Pressure at work is a common response.

No one wants to believe that their spouse is capable of cheating. Unfortunately, it happens more often than you might think. By being aware of the common signs, you can recognize cheating in your spouse and better prepare for what comes next. If you suspect your spouse is cheating and want to know more about your legal options, contact a San Diego divorce attorney as soon as possible. Getting ahead of the situation will help your case in the long run.